Angel 4

for me there was no spark to send fireworks into the sky chemistry was not there i did not desire looking at you as a friend very young immature handing yourself so readily to this an older man wiser in the eyes of the world luck i am not a user in the sence of the word without drawing a picture needing distance within oneself silent words unspoken clinging to me please let me go if its meant to be it will never never pass you bye i said you were my first angel the hand that took me out of the darkest deepest of hell in the time of sleepless night i prayed for god'smercy you were so sweet and very beautiful lost i saw loves sweet beauty a light began to shine i began seeing things differently one beautiful lady looking back i met you a couple times since that day i do not think romantically about you we are friends for life guiding me as i do you we were meant to meet i pleaded to god for help in the dark madness he sent light in you then christmas eve fell months later by this time i had the all clear my mother at my side the number one of my angels i went to confessions nearly a year after the break up as i began speaking with so much hurt in the house of god i carried the pain of my world within this searing ache breaking down crying in front of the priest begging god to forgive me in not knowing what i had done i felt the holy spirit enter me the priest turned to me and said touched this lonely heart so deeply son god loves the tears just wailed out of my soul why in love does it hurt me so much please god of mercy help me understand son the pain bestowed upon you was not the sins of love love is beautiful should be cherished in gods eyes you love you carry the sins of another who bestowed pain i left said my prayers the priest hugged me i felt a warmness deep inside of me holy lord i smiled shook the fathers hand like a massive weight of my shoulders lifted i went home that night a completely different person i sit in my own pad with my loyal friend my dog buster really i should call him goofy looking into the night sky christmas eve looking at the stars i remember it like it was yesterday clear crisp cold air the stars were so clear all alone i wished for the world smiling a happy christmas with all the love in my heart that was all i had to offer as god he has a plan for me the abnormality disappeared he gave me a miracle another of my many chances in my chronicles of life this was the night of my awakening call