8 Steps On How To Get a Man According To Disney

Step 1-Live in a grand palace with your overbearing father or evil stepmother. Step 2-Even though you are a princess and live in a palace or castle you have to remember to whine all the time. Complain about how boring your life is. Step 3- Because your life is so boring you now must do everything in your power to escape the palace and piss off your father or stepmother. Like runaway with some street rat you met in the marketplace, or swim to your cave full of items that you think are magical when they are really just pollution, lose your shoe at a magic ball you were forbidden to go to and finally stay with the hideous man beast who kidnapped you. Step 4- Find your prince no matter what! Step 5-Make a deal with an evil witch just so your prince will notice you. The classics are taking a strange apple from some old woman, trading your voice to a creepy octopus lady that will be sure to give you nightmares, or staying in the castle to show the creepy werewolf guy that you love him no matter what spell he is under. Step 6-Sit and wait. Don't worry your prince will come. Eventually. I mean how long could it be. It's not like you can tell him you want him. Some octopus ***** stole your voice. And also the street rat...he isn't really a prince but he has a genie best friend so you can lie to your father about that one. And poor Cinderella waiting for Mr. Charming to come with her slipper that somehow only fits her. Apparently that kingdom was filled with Sasquatch women. Step 7-Finally get your kiss! Yay! You can talk again. You finally woke up from your deep sleep. Man beast was actually really handsome once the spell was broken...don't worry about the hairballs you'll be hacking up for a week. Step 8-Live happily ever after. Marry the love of you life who you just met like a day ago and leave people asking what happens after that.