25 Years of Marriage - 15 Years of Neglect

There's weeds in my garden I can't use a ho(e) The man who could pull them don't care no mo The ****'s overgrown I might need a plow But it's waited so long that it's no use now When we planted the thing we both shared the work Then one day I looked up and said, "Where is that jerk?" My back started aching, legs started to tremble The beetles and grubs began to disassemble All the love and attention we put in this thing It's as rusty and broken as my diamond ring He comes around every once in awhile And kills off small weeds with a casual smile He tosses out a few grubs with an 'I love you' I halfheartedly reply, "I love you, too" Then I start to remember as he walks away The tomatoes and herbs we planted that day The cucumbers and beans and corn and beets Represented by kisses so warm and so sweet Flirty little winks over coffee and toast The occasional ass-squeeze -- gone like a ghost Making love was like water to our marriage bed Reaffirming our promise we made when we wed But with years of neglect and a long dry spell I can say pretty surely, this thing's gone to hell 'Cause there's weeds in my garden too big to pull out The bulldozer's just me with a scream and a shout It would probably be better to burn the thing down Forget about gardening -- go out on the town To a place no one knows me and I don't know them Where I sip on my drink and -- Wait, what is this stem I just found in my hair, damn those infernal weeds! I guess I should stay here and tend to the needs Of the beautiful garden we let go to waste Plant some kisses, caresses -- so good to taste For love, like a garden, needs tending to grow And weeding, and hoeing and raking, you know It's back-breaking work, but the payoff is sweet For the soul-soothing feast we both love to eat We're starving each other, pissed off and pissed on The garden we planted has been gone too long