-does Not Deserve a Title, Just a Flame:

He is I, and I am him …W H O?!?!?!? Trapped in a life that is not their own, but claiming responsibility and expressing guilt, remorse and sadness for minute failings of biblical proportions. Who spelled his name L o s t, from the start. Whom is always looking at the costs, as compared to tabula rasa. Have I lived my life well? Am I a good person? I don’t even know myself, who am I to judge, HA! Idiot! Have you not learned that everything is R-e-l-a-t-i-v-e? Why can’t you just BE normal? You speak too loud, your hyperactive, you’re a dork But God loves you…… …….or does He? (As a side note, why not a She or an IT, like in Stephen King, who can say 4sure.) May be. May be I am slowly deteriorating mentally because I can’t remember how to spell maybe. Nature / Nurture than. I am a byproduct of my genetic code-explains some unusual behavior on my aunts behalf 4sure. Or am I to be a little wimp and blame the routine demands for improved moral, while the beatings continued as a child, no fault of the family-just society. The sick Pavlovian experiment that had become a grotesque remake of the Lord of the Flies novel. I am Piggy, except I am the rock, pre flight. Strange. Or do I jest. --Oh wow A glutton for pain than, if one cannot face treatment nor find eternal escape through raw cowardice of flight from life….in a literal sense. Is this the womb of my anxieties than, at least for today? I guess it is a matter of one’s perspective of time. To think that some beautiful life could be ending before it even began….in child birth. I look in the mirror. You know I can’t look myself in the eyes….but I can still see the constant buzzing in my ears. O_o