The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. And then you die. What's that? A bonus? I think the life-cycle is all backwards. You should die first and get it all over with. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young. You get a gold watch. You go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol and party. You get ready for high school. You go to grade school and become a kid. You play. You have no responsibilities. You become a little baby & go back into the womb. You spend your last nine months floating... Then, you finish off as an orgasm. I like it.
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Mr. Rooney was very supportive through three non-playoff years (1998-2000), and I'm very appreciative of his patience.
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It's paradoxial that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.
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Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.
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Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.
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You always pass failure on the way to success.
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I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.
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Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning 'lousy hunter.'
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Its paradoxical that the idea of living long appeals to everyone but no one wants to get old.
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That's the moment I got interested in politics. I remember going to a Penguins game with Artie. He described all the conversations that were going on and he didn't know what he wanted to do at that point, but said he probably wasn't going to go ahead with it. That's when I first started thinking about government and politics ... when I got intrigued by all of the gamesmanship that goes on.
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Death is a distant rumor to the young.
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Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.
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A lot of people have asked me how short I am. Since my last divorce, I think I'm about $100, 000 short.
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If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
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Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day.
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I buy women shoes and they use them to walk away from me.
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Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.
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You can expect AMD to bring out a dual-core mobile processor with DDR-2 memory in the second quarter of this year.
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The only people who say worse things about politicians than reporters do are other politicians.
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If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of the fun out of owning one.
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The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
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We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones.
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I have one of those real old American built cars. The kind that just PUNCHES through accidents.
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