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Famous Andy Rooney Quotations

Best famous Andy Rooney quotations. Find, read, and share the best famous quotations by Andy Rooney. These are the most popular quotations and best examples of quotes by Andy Rooney.

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Quote Left The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. And then you die. What's that? A bonus? I think the life-cycle is all backwards. You should die first and get it all over with. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young. You get a gold watch. You go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol and party. You get ready for high school. You go to grade school and become a kid. You play. You have no responsibilities. You become a little baby & go back into the womb. You spend your last nine months floating... Then, you finish off as an orgasm. I like it. Quote Right
Quote Left It's paradoxial that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone. Quote Right
Quote Left Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose. Quote Right
Quote Left Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. Quote Right
Quote Left Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning 'lousy hunter.' Quote Right
Quote Left Its paradoxical that the idea of living long appeals to everyone but no one wants to get old. Quote Right
Quote Left Death is a distant rumor to the young. Quote Right
Quote Left Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head. Quote Right
Quote Left If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it. Quote Right