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Famous Rodney Dangerfield Quotations

Best famous Rodney Dangerfield quotations. Find, read, and share the best famous quotations by Rodney Dangerfield. These are the most popular quotations and best examples of quotes by Rodney Dangerfield.

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Quote Left My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive. Quote Right
Quote Left I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out. Quote Right
Quote Left I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face. Quote Right
Quote Left Everyone gets their rough day. No one gets a free ride. Today so far, I had a good day. I got a dial tone. Quote Right
Quote Left I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand. Quote Right
Quote Left Life is just a bowl of pits. Quote Right
Quote Left My mother had morning sickness after I was born. Quote Right
Quote Left I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it. Quote Right
Quote Left The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. Quote Right
Quote Left A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home. Quote Right
Quote Left When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. Quote Right
Quote Left We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together. Quote Right
Quote Left Hey, I don't like cocaine... I just like the way it smells. Quote Right
Quote Left I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it. Quote Right
Quote Left I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself. Quote Right
Quote Left My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it. Quote Right
Quote Left I feel sorry for short people, you know. When it rains, they're the last to know Quote Right
Quote Left I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. Quote Right
Quote Left I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet Quote Right
Quote Left My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. Quote Right
Quote Left I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot. Quote Right
Quote Left I just finished my first book. Pretty soon, I'm gonna read another Quote Right
Quote Left My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. Quote Right