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Famous Phyllis Diller Quotations

Best famous Phyllis Diller quotations. Find, read, and share the best famous quotations by Phyllis Diller. These are the most popular quotations and best examples of quotes by Phyllis Diller.

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Quote Left Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. Quote Right
Quote Left My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. Quote Right
Quote Left My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. Quote Right
Quote Left We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up. Quote Right
Quote Left What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day Quote Right
Quote Left A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. Quote Right
Quote Left Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves Quote Right
Quote Left If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. Quote Right
Quote Left I treasure every moment that I do not see her. Quote Right
Quote Left Living in Hollywood is like living in a lit cigar butt. Quote Right
Quote Left If that's the best joke in the world, then I've never had a face-lift. Quote Right
Quote Left Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing Quote Right
Quote Left Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing. Quote Right
Quote Left Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. Quote Right
Quote Left Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. Quote Right
Quote Left Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. Quote Right
Quote Left Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered Quote Right
Quote Left Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. Quote Right
Quote Left Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. Quote Right
Quote Left Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room. Quote Right