My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man

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Bagman is not a legitimate career choice

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Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things

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I will not spin the turtle

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Beans are neither fruit nor musical

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Garlic gum is not funny

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I will not Xerox my butt

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Bewitched does not promote Satanism

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Coffee is not for kids

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I am not a dentist

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I will not go near the kindergarten turtle

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I am not a lean mean spitting machine

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Funny noises are not funny

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Bart Bucks are not legal tender

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I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers

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All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy

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High explosives and school don't mix

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Five days is not too long to wait for a gun

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I will not prescribe medication

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Indian burns are not our cultural heritage

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I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty

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I will not call my teacher 'Hot Cakes'

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I do not have diplomatic immunity

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Goldfish don't bounce

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I will not sell miracle cures

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Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does

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Mud is not one of the 4 food groups

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I will not strut around like I own the place

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A burp is not an answer

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I am not a 32 year old woman

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