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Famous Johnny Carson Quotations

Best famous Johnny Carson quotations. Find, read, and share the best famous quotations by Johnny Carson. These are the most popular quotations and best examples of quotes by Johnny Carson.

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Quote Left The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money Quote Right
Quote Left For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. Quote Right
Quote Left I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing. Quote Right
Quote Left The difference between divorce and legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money Quote Right
Quote Left The closest thing to Roseanne Barr's singing the national anthem was my cat being neutered. Quote Right
Quote Left If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam Quote Right
Quote Left He's so fat, he can be his own running mate. Quote Right
Quote Left Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined. Quote Right
Quote Left Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die Quote Right
Quote Left The Hollywood tradition I like best is called 'sucking up to the stars.' Quote Right
Quote Left 'Your chances of getting hit by lightning go up if you stand under a tree, shake your fist at the sky and say 'Storms suck!'. Quote Right
Quote Left In all honesty, Johnny, we are often at the mercy of the White House for the news we report. Frequently, we simply repeat verbatim what the White House tells us. Quote Right
Quote Left My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day. Quote Right
Quote Left Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are you ready?' by Johnny Carson Quote Right
Quote Left If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. Quote Right
Quote Left I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive Quote Right
Quote Left For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off. Quote Right
Quote Left Nancy Reagan fell down and broke her hair. Quote Right
Quote Left Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. Quote Right
Quote Left Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: Are your ready? Quote Right
Quote Left I knew a man who gave up smoking, drinking, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself. Quote Right
Quote Left For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off Quote Right
Quote Left If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. Quote Right
Quote Left The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money Quote Right
Quote Left Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president. Quote Right
Quote Left For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. Quote Right
Quote Left Only lie about the future. Quote Right
Quote Left Who could follow Carson? Well, believe me, somebody can - and will. Quote Right