If you receive an e-mail with a subject of 'Badtimes,' delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it! This is the most dangerous E-Mail virus yet. It will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream goes melty, drink all your beer, make you fall in love with a penguin, give you nightmares about circus midgets, leave the toilet seat up and kill your dog.
|
You should use the preceding terms whenever you have to 'interface'¹ with computer experts. For example, if you're purchasing a new computer, you want to use as many of these terms as possible, so that store personnel will realize that they're dealing with a person who has a high level of technical expertise:
STORE PERSONNEL: May I help you? YOU: I'm looking for a 'hard drive' with plenty of 'RAM' in the 'megahertz.' STORE PERSONNEL: You want the computer store next door. This is a supermarket. YOU: Let me see your 'zucchini.'
|
Today, you always know whether you are on the Internet or on your PC's hard drive. Tomorrow, you will not care and may not even know
|
Hard Drive: The part of the computer that stops working when you spill beer on it.
|