I hate turkeys. If you stand in the meat section at the grocery store long enough, you start to get mad a turkeys. There's turkey ham, turkey bologna, turkey pastromi,.Some one needs to tell the turkey, man, just be yourself.
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She's like an apple turnover that got crushed in a grocery bag on a hot day.
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It's like any divorce. If you see your ex-wife at the grocery store, either she's going to throw a bunch of eggs at you, or you're going to have a genuinely enjoyable conversation. To be able to see those guys and laugh with them and reminisce a little bit was good for my soul.
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I can write for any magazine now, in any voice. I can do it in two hours, I could do it in my sleep, it's like writing a grocery list.
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I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'
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