Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
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The secret of acting is sincerity. If you can fake that, you've got it made
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
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Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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Everyday happiness means getting up in the morning, and you can't wait to finish your breakfast. You can't wait to do your exercises. You can't wait to put on your clothes. You can't wait to get out -- and you can't wait to come home, because the soup is hot.
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Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city
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Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope
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Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxi cabs and cutting hair.
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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!
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A good sermon should have a good beginning and a good ending, and they should be as close together as possible.
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Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.
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When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights
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Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.
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Life's but a day at most.
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I get a standing ovation jaust standing.
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If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it.
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Nice to be here At my age it's nice to be anywhere.
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I would rather be a failure doing something I love than be a sucess doing something I hate
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If you live to the age of a hundred you have it made because very few people die past the age of a hundred
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I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the last one left.
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Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
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I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than a success at something I hate.
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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
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Be quick to learn and wise to know.
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