Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

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The secret of acting is sincerity. If you can fake that, you've got it made

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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

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Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.

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Everyday happiness means getting up in the morning, and you can't wait to finish your breakfast. You can't wait to do your exercises. You can't wait to put on your clothes. You can't wait to get out -- and you can't wait to come home, because the soup is hot.

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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

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Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.

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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city

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Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope

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Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxi cabs and cutting hair.

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A good sermon should have a good beginning and a good ending, and they should be as close together as possible.

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I get a standing ovation jaust standing.

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Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!

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Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.

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Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.

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When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights

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Life's but a day at most.

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Nice to be here At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

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Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair

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Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

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If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it.

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I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than a success at something I hate.

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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

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Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

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I would rather be a failure doing something I love than be a sucess doing something I hate

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I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the last one left.

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If you live to the age of a hundred you have it made because very few people die past the age of a hundred

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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

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I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

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Be quick to learn and wise to know.

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