Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
|
Inhabitants of underdeveloped nations and victims of natural disasters are the only people who have ever been happy to see soybeans.
|
Twenty-four-hour room service generally refers to the length of time that it takes for the club sandwich to arrive. This is indeed disheartening, particularly when you
|
Girls who put out are tramps. Girls who don't are ladies. This is, however, a rather archaic usage of the word. Should one of you boys happen upon a girl who doesn't put out, do not jump to the conclusion that you have found a lady. What you have probably found is a lesbian.
|
Money...buys privacy, silence. The less money you have, the noisier it is; the thinner your walls, the closer your neighbors.... The first thing you notice when you step into the house or apartment of a rich person is how quiet it is.
|
Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens.
|
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
|
If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
|
Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
|
No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
|
I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or or not.
|
Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
|
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail.
|
Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
|
The most common error made in matters of appearance is the belief that one should disdain the superficial and let the true beauty of one's soul shine through. If there are places on your body where this is a possibility, you are not attractive-you are leaking.
|
Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you
|
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
|
Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.
|
Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching.
|
The controversial overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
|
I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
|
Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable
|
Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
|
Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
|
All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
|
I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
|
Andy Warhol made fame more famous
|
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
|
Humility is no substitute for a good personality
|
I do not believe in God. I believe in cashmere.
|