Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

|
If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.

|
The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.

|
If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.

|
If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.

|
If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend

|
Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.

|
The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.

|
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.

|
A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten.

|
Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.

|
Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible

|
Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three - and paradise is when you have none.

|
Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.

|
Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.

|
The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.

|
The reason people blame things on the previous generations is that there's only one other choice.

|
There are worse things than getting a call for the wrong number at 4 AM. It could be the right number.

|
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball

|
Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own

|
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.

|
A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.

|
Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.

|
To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.

|
If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

|
Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enought to know they were impossible.

|
Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

|
The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools

|
What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of high living.

|