Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
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If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.
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The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.
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If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur.
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If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.
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If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend
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The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.
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The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools.
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Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.
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A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten.
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Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.
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Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible
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Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three - and paradise is when you have none.
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Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.
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The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.
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Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.
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The reason people blame things on the previous generations is that there's only one other choice.
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The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball
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If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.
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A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.
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Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own
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To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.
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Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.
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More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
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Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enought to know they were impossible.
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The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools
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There are worse things than getting a call for the wrong number at 4 AM. It could be the right number.
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What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of high living.
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Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
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