I'm afraid of losing my obscurity. Genuineness only thrives in the dark. Like celery.
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Whenever I get dumped (by a girlfriend), I nail the door shut so that no one can come inside, get a towel and clip it around my neck so it's like a Superman cape, take off my shoes so I can slide across the room, and... get a fake mic, like a celery stick or a pen, and I play any record that features the vocalist Ronnie James Dio. And you can just pretend you're Dio, because on every album he does, he has minimum one, usually three, 'EVIL WOMAN LOOK OUT!' songs.
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I bought an Ant Farm once. They didn't grow shit. I said 'How about some celery! You fuckers don't farm, and if I pulled off your legs, you would look like snowmen.
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The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery.
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