Leave it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination.

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I try to make everyone's day just a little more surreal.

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I suppose if we couldn't laugh at things that don't make sense, we couldn't react to alot of life.

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If life is just a stage, then we are all running around ad-libbing, with absolutely no clue what the plot is. Maybe that's why we don't know whether it's a comedy or a tragedy.

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Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

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Calvin: Do you believe in the Devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man? Hobbes: I'm not sure man needs the help.

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Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said, 'I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze 'em'

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The surest sign intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is the fact that none of it has tried to contact us.

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I'm not dumb, I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

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My life needs a rewinderase button. - Calvin

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Today my spirit is going to school while my body stays in bed.

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Careful. We don't want to learn from this.

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That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder.

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Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.

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The only real proof that there is intelligent life in outer space is that they have never tried to contact us.

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Reality continues to ruin my life.

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I think of football as a sport the way ducks think of hunting as a sport.

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People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.

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God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.

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Some people are pragmatists, taking things as they come and making the best of the choices available. Some people are idealists, standing for principle and refusing to compromise. And some people just act on any whim that enters their heads. I pragmatically turn my whims into principles - Calvin

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I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night. - Calvin

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I have plentyof common sense! I just choose to ignore it.

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I think most of us would be horrified to meet ourselves and discover what everyone else already knows about us.

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Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous - Calvin

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