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Famous Art Buchwald Quotations

Best famous Art Buchwald quotations. Find, read, and share the best famous quotations by Art Buchwald. These are the most popular quotations and best examples of quotes by Art Buchwald.

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Quote Left This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday, ... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security. Quote Right
Quote Left I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page. Quote Right
Quote Left Put yourself in Hamlet's shoes. Suppose you were a prince, and you came back from college to discover that your uncle had murdered your father and married your mother, and you fell in love with a beautiful girl and mistakenly murdered her father, and then she went crazy and drowned herself. What would you do? Go back for a masters? Quote Right
Quote Left Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening. Quote Right
Quote Left You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it. Quote Right
Quote Left We seem to be going through a period of nostalgia, and everyone seems to think yesterday was better than today. I don Quote Right
Quote Left And Man created the plastic bag and the tin and aluminum can and the cellophane wrapper and the paper plate, and this was good because Man could then take his automobile and buy all his food in one place and He could save that which was good to eat in the refrigerator and throw away that which had no further use. And soon the earth was covered with plastic bags and aluminum cans and paper plates and disposable bottles and there was nowhere to sit down or walk, and Man shook his head and cried: Look at this Godawful mess. Quote Right
Quote Left It is an honorable calling that you have chosen. Some of you will soon be defending poor, helpless insurance companies who are constantly being sued by greedy, vicious widows and orphans trying to collect on their policies. Others will work tirelessly to protect frightened, beleaguered oil companies from being attacked by depraved consumer groups. Quote Right
Quote Left I worship the quicksand he walks in. Quote Right
Quote Left Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before. Quote Right
Quote Left If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it. Quote Right
Quote Left Whether it is the best of times or the worst of times, it is only time we have. Quote Right
Quote Left Just when you think there's nothing to write about, Nixon says, 'I am not a crook.' Jimmy Carter says, 'I have lusted after women in my heart.' President Reagan says, 'I have just taken a urinalysis test, and I am not on dope.' Quote Right
Quote Left The best things in life aren't things. Quote Right