Poetry Forum

saba - all messages by user

1/24/2016 5:23:38 AM
I need help to correct my poetry	Hi friends, as I am not a native English language and I would love to write in English ,I really appreciate who can help me to correct my poetry.
12/12/2019 3:46:57 PM
Help me to correct my poetry?	Hi everyone, I am a Persian poet and write poems in my native language for long time. I am trying to write in English as well but I found it difficult as I am not native. I really need help to make sense my poems in the eyes of native readers. I would really appreciate your help to correct my poems. many thanks . I'm just a little mother now When I was born I was a beautiful child Nice and lovely With enchanting smiles and a bright face With me, hundreds of hopes and wishes were born Thousands of sweet wishes And the dreams that must come true. I was nicknamed "daughter" ***** when I was born I became a"sister", because I had abrother, Later, other titles were given to me Like wife, aunt, in law…. And when I became a "mom," my other titles werecompleted. *** Wherever I went, I carried the titles like an endless wealth I was proud of myself Suddenly, A thick, black cloud of darkness overshadowed, the darkness of mylife's sky A cloud of contaminated rain, that washed awayall my titles It's been a long time now Just a little mom *** my father, Who had defended the rights of others for a lifetime, Took my right to the grave And my mother who every evening, The time of sunset, Carred her faith to the mosque, Neglet me to satisfy his sons. slowly, I lost being a "daughter " Because I had neither a father nor a mother my brother, who, our childhood was full of laught and joy his life became full of lies and cruel, Lost in the dust of sin And my sister, He sold his soulto luxury and money To satisfy his selfish thirst Then little by little, I lost my titlelof "sister". *** And my husband, Who was, The only one who owned my heart, betrayed me, thus I had to leave my house, I suddenly lost mytitle of "wife" *** Now I am Just a little " mother" Because I don't know In this world full of cruelty and darkness The world, which is infectedwith selfishness and jealousy, How will my kids become, Yes, I am just a little mother,**
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