Poetry Forum

TimB - all messages by user

6/30/2011 5:09:59 PM
Naturally Speaking, need critique.	Hello all, Never wrote a Quatern before, curious as to the mistakes I made, or any suggestions you may have, appreciate honesty, thank you. -TimB. "Twas in a voice that I found God In a kind tone that I found odd Carried on the whispering wind Speaking beautifully in the end Twas in a tome, I read downtrodden Twas in a voice that I found God Hidden yet open amongst the pages Full of his truth and unearthly graces Ruled by dialects and languages Enslaving all our human anguishes Twas in a voice that I found God A preacher humbled me with but a nod Tempests sway, swirl round the tower Babel's peak speaking volumes an hour Here, speaking naturally, this is why Twas in a voice that I found god" edited by TimB on 6/30/2011 edited by TimB on 6/30/2011
7/6/2011 10:07:45 PM
Naturally Speaking, need critique.	Still asking for an honest critique on this one, don't be shy, I can take the abuse
7/7/2011 10:25:50 PM
Naturally Speaking, need critique.	Thank you for the kinds words Juanita.
7/22/2011 9:56:46 AM
Naturally Speaking, need critique.	Thank you for pointing that all out Sid, much appreciated! I am going to be editing a lot of my poems soon and this gives me a good base to go from, thanks again. -Tim
7/22/2011 9:59:48 AM
Assistance on"Caught in a Deluge" please?	Hello all, I am curious as to what form to list this under, any help would be appreciated? I am guessing that it would be a rhyme or a free verse? Any other criticism of this poem would also be welcomed, thanks in advance. The pouring rain ricocheting in your ear Now dearest there is but naught to fear Fluctuating rhythmatic ransom notes nigh Just another drop of venom shall make us cry The introspection of an unyielding inspection Yielded nothing upon these reflections The pouring rain ricochets in your fears Tasting blood the wicked now can hear Run My darling as tempests swirl and sway Our little one is gone this day So now holy father to whom do we pray Signs of light flicker in the darkest corner We must never become the lonesome mourner Retaining faith deep in solid steel reserves Like vigilant warriors of light whom he preserves Today they were found, and got what they deserve Stand Tall like the oaks he commands respect Dear God no longer should we detect The burning feelings of our own inadequacy Driven over the years to such lunacy Tears rolling down the faces of regret We did everything without a fret Bleeding hearts now atone with brows of sweat Fall
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