Poetry Forum

Bruzo - all messages by user

11/6/2018 5:11:46 AM
Virgin Poem	So I was kinda forced into this as I was invited to a Poetry Slam at some friends - this Friday. So I searched and searched for a poem to read, not so easy considering this whole poetry thing is brand new. So after not making any headway and with the deadline looming I thought what the hell, why not just give it a go... and this is what came out after 40min of writing. I am really happy with it so i suppose that's what counts but I'd be interested to get some critic, even though I have already received 2 positive comments - thanks by the way, so I might keep going with it. I did enjoy the process. Here is my Poem: It's the Kalahari The sun rose that morning like a freshly baked pie Warm and golden Its purpose prepared for the day ahead To torch the bald and hat less heads Its was time to take its place in dust clogged sky Its barely six am when the sounds of the first cow bells ring as the beasts of burden make their way to find the last remnants of the dry brown hay the grasses thirst for that first rain and the cattle search and search in vain oh where are you black clouds and thunder its been a long long and warm dry winter as the day progresses the hope of rain dismisses oh if only that storm front from the north would makes its way and come forth you can even smell the air its sweet aroma as the sound of thunder gets ever nearer the anticipation of all of nature fills the air every creature and when that ferocious downpour is at its finish you think to yourself why so quick and why did you punish but at least it has given you strength to face another day to go the length to put up with the heat and to say I’m sorry for ever wanting to leave this beautiful Kalahari edited by Bruzo on 11/6/2018
pages: 1

11/6/2018 5:11:46 AM

So I was kinda forced into this as I was invited to a Poetry Slam at some friends - this Friday.

So I searched and searched for a poem to read, not so easy considering this whole poetry thing is brand new. So after not making any headway and with the deadline looming I thought what the hell, why not just give it a go... and this is what came out after 40min of writing. I am really happy with it so i suppose that's what counts but I'd be interested to get some critic, even though I have already received 2 positive comments - thanks by the way, so I might keep going with it. I did enjoy the process.

Here is my Poem:

It's the Kalahari

The sun rose that morning like a freshly baked pie

Warm and golden

Its purpose prepared for the day ahead

To torch the bald and hat less heads

Its was time to take its place in dust clogged sky

Its barely six am when the sounds

of the first cow bells ring

as the beasts of burden make their way

to find the last remnants of the dry brown hay

the grasses thirst for that first rain

and the cattle search and search in vain

oh where are you black clouds and thunder

its been a long long and warm dry winter

as the day progresses the hope of rain dismisses

oh if only that storm front from the north

would makes its way and come forth

you can even smell the air its sweet aroma

as the sound of thunder gets ever nearer

the anticipation of all of nature fills the air

every creature

and when that ferocious downpour is at its finish

you think to yourself why so quick and why did you punish

but at least it has given you strength

to face another day to go the length

to put up with the heat and to say I’m sorry

for ever wanting to leave this beautiful Kalahari
edited by Bruzo on 11/6/2018

pages: 1