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10/5/2023 10:48:59 AM Romina Yaghubi Posts: 7	What's behind thy eyes? In their dark shade of brown When I pour out my heart For thou to tell me I'm smart I bring thee my fevered mind Thou just read it by heart I tell thee a word And thou spare me the world I'm dying to know The secret of thy eyes
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10/5/2023 11:51:40 AM tom pickering Posts: 6	Does the use of archaic language (thee, thou) add or detract here? It's got some good imagery - but I find the archaisms distracting. I'm not sure repeating the word "heart" works - too big a context switch between the two uses. edited by linux99 on 10/5/2023
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10/22/2023 1:00:32 PM Danka Sikorska Posts: 3	For me, all archaisms in poetry are pointless. Don't get me wrong, I've been there, I've tried it (in my native language), but they just don't fit. We do not speak like that anymore, so unless the poem is entirely written in such style on purpose, I don't think we need them There are so many contemporary words (or words we can invent/introduce to the language) that we do not need to dig in the past that deep
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