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4/26/2012 12:09:54 PM John Smith Posts: 2	Hey guys this is one of my first poems, would love to know what you think. On paper I am perfect, On paper I am fine On paper I see everything, All that is mine But paper gets worn down, Paper tears with time The ink will slowly fade away, The words will slowly die Paper tells a story, which can often be a lie It's dogged ears can hide the truth, It's cuts can make you cry But paper wont match reality, However hard I try The ink will slowly fade away, Maybe it's my time.
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5/8/2012 3:52:52 PM Kara McLain Posts: 7	I honestly have nothing to say improvment wise other than why no periods? Other than that lovely flow. I am in love with the last two lines of the first stanza.
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5/10/2012 8:16:21 AM Nathan D. Posts: 7	its a good poem i like the concept of it and the flow is excellent. the only thing i would look at is lines 4 6 and the last line. these are too short for my liking and distrupt the flow ever so slightly.
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