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7/6/2023 12:10:57 PM Bob Atkinson Posts: 294	ElegantSolution -by - Bob Atkinson some reaches of our universe contain what we surmise an articulated benefit with open, loving eyes appeal not fully understood simplicity wished for gain we, of an unknowing kind knew not from where we came I feel, in this moment's pause as if my brain's on fire why don't I understand this why don't I knowledge desire carry me beyond those trees beyond those mountains great to an equality of sound to an awareness plain plain for simplicity of mind plain for knowing well how we, in clinging to what we know give chatter to ourselves chatter only serves to calm us in our lack of fire something we try to overcome with energy of desire to solve a mystery requires luck and luck's what we have much to be here on this oval speck of gasses and brown dust took ever so much overcoming of process duly made an elegant solution to an empty, useless phase so here, we sit and ponder fate yet fate's what we stand living we look to each other's help please be kind and giving p { line-height: 115%; margin-bottom: 0.1in; background: transparent }a:link { color: #000080; text-decoration: underline }
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7/7/2023 9:03:37 PM Cameron Hardenburg Posts: 3	I'm a bit confused. Why would you choose to introduce a rhyming pattern for a free verse. Some stanzas within your poem consist of two alternating rhyming lines and two blank verses. Multiple of your stanzas follow this pattern, which is confusing because why would you introduce a reoccurring rhyming theme within a free verse if you're not going to follow a consistent rhyming structure? Stanzas 1,3,6,9 all contain a semblance of a reoccurring rhyming pattern that isn't present within the rest of the poem. Even though this is a free verse, it was still a strange choice to structure your poem with this regularity only to be inconsistent with it. It makes for a bit of an awkward framework in my opinion. But with that aside, I really liked your poem, good work!
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7/10/2023 10:54:10 AM Bob Atkinson Posts: 294	Thank you Hardenburg for your interest. Don't know what poem you read to generate your comments. Read my poem "Sonnet" on the forum for my reply to your intense interest in form. Primary purpose of rhyme and verse is to train the mind. (all Hindu textbooks are in rhyme and verse). Beyond that I place very little value in form, other than a flowing sense of value of the poem's theme, and juvenile addiction to dumb words such as "the, it, and the verb to be, is are was were." Baudelaire taught me theme is more important than form, which is useless as long as the poem exhibits emotional strength it's of some value. Regards, Bob
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7/10/2023 3:57:23 PM Cameron Hardenburg Posts: 3	Elegant Solution is the title of your poem that I'm referring to. Stanzas are typically broken apart and based on some sort of reoccurring metrical unit. Whilst it is true that stanzas may also be created to merely divide a poem into segments, corresponding to the paragraphs of prose (such as you have done). It was a strange choice to have multiple of your stanzas follow a quatrain pattern if you weren't going to be consistent with it. Personally, I prefer stanzas that have some degree of methodology regarding their metrical pattern (but that is purely preference). It was just a bit odd to inconsistently flip back and forth from a quatrain structure to a free verse.
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7/10/2023 4:15:16 PM Cameron Hardenburg Posts: 3	To clarify, I'm talking about your use of rhymed quatrain structure. Technically, every stanza in your poem is a quatrain, but only some of them follow a rhyming pattern.
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7/11/2023 5:37:46 PM Bob Atkinson Posts: 294	Thanks Hardenburg for your erudite analysis of form, something in 1600 poems I posted online that I never considered, concentrating more importantly on what I was saying instead. In my poem "the Sonnet" posted here, told of my feelings toward restrictive form. Would love reference to your poems posted online to see how you would do it. "...The Sonnet -by-Bob Atkinson Lentini believed in arrogance for he left us his own form strict instructions codified aberration from the norm yes,we feel constrained when we try to develop in this mode leaving behind our purpose for some instructions of a toad don’t tie my hands when I form words into meanings specific to tell of how I feel about something simple or intricate for I talk to those of independence not those who strike out for constraint of actions resolute as nothing’s banned or barred...."
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8/22/2023 12:14:11 AM forest health Posts: 1	hiii
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