Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
5/3/2023 7:16:09 AM
Charles Smith
Posts: 2
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New here. Not sure if this is allowed right off the bat. If not, MODS feel free to delete. Any critique much welcomed.
Atticus
Daily Obituary - Revision 2
The rustling of pages
conjures up white apparitions
of steam from coffee.
She calls off names
from the daily obituaries,
then folds the paper
into halves.
Eyes, thin as the newsprint
she reads, peer
over at the rows
of cappucino drinkers reading
by the plate-glass window.
Names escape her mouth
in a silenced homage;
paper snaps upright
and the eyes disappear.
The day after seeing
her own name she
stopped reading.
She traced the paper
like a tarot card
as her heaving
sobs rocked the table.
The howl of a tea kettle
suffocated the shrill
sound of her seven-letter name.
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7/13/2023 1:25:05 PM
lelio trevisani
Posts: 3
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incredible
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