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For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!

3/16/2023 1:02:27 PM

Jenny Gargarello
Posts: 4

Starlight transmissions on divine caravans
Sing a song as you drive that metal magnificence
Through the arid desert and along the coastal highway

In the morning gather round the campfire

Of your intellects brazen bridge
Collapsing into a stream of ancient tears
A rivulet that dances upon your mirrored heart

The day spreads open like a beautiful sunflower

So many seeds to sow in the breeze
Never knowing if anything grows
All you can see is a reflection of your own blooms

You reread the etchings you left behind

Sometimes you glimpse a side road
It takes you through a dark and intimidating forest
Until you come to a vast clearing where the sky

Seems as infinite as nothing else you have ever known

In the clarity the magic is something that you realize has been with you since the dawn

This day may never end

But you understand the purpose of confusion
It decorates your crystal balls and tarot that you tossed when it was obvious

That the future never came

.....
Hi my name is Jenny Gargarello and I am new to this forum. I am looking for open, honest critique. Thank you so much.
edited by realitysurfer on 3/16/2023

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