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Forum Home » High Critique » First time posting. Title: The road.

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
3/19/2012 8:14:45 PM

michael layao
Posts: 1
The sky threatens rain
Almost mocking in tone
The pavement protests a little past silent
Every time my feet strike
Left right left right
I apologize to the street
For it isn’t me
It’s just gravity
If I could control it
I’d simply just float
The pavement would be at ease
The left right would cease
I can’t float nor can I fly
Banned from the mocking sky
It’s just me and the street
And the triumphant gravity
I’m walking in place
Though each step gets me further
I make no distance
No matter my pace
No matter my stride
No matter my speed
I leave behind trees
Pass houses and cars
My shoes soak up the miles
But I can’t move an inch.
What I’m walking away from
Isn’t that which can be escaped in time
So no matter how far I go
I’m at the starting line
I can walk and walk
Run and run
Until I forget what im running for
I just want to be a simile
But I’m a metaphor.
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Forum Home » High Critique » First time posting. Title: The road.






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