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5/31/2022 11:47:21 AM mark palmer Posts: 8	This has taken me a month, and I need to confirm if the join between the sentences are correct, or should I not wander so much? I have only shown 4 people at work(i do this in the evenings/weekends). Can you be honest please? Cold and Homeless again An arctic freeze has been slow on coming, My refuge is drawn to this old wooden bench, I find these days flick like empty pages, With nothing to say, boredom sets, God, I hope he hears me. You see two worlds when they stop and stare, As if a crash, and I, the show for prying eyes. In truth I am just a pawn in these homeless games. This icy ground is a killing zone, in nature’s fury and Contempt these hellish Wind-chills wrap and sap my warmth. The extremities were the first to know, in a viral touch, A cold numbness pales the skin, And I am prey to these deadly shivers. These crumpled clothes were never the shelter For a winter blast, packed layer on layer, They give no cover from the bite of a minuschill. I have slowed to this inching shuffle, for my Frozen boots shred the toes until they bled, while I wince and groan with every blister. The chatter of noise gives me interest, oh to Hear someone’s voice, and with it, the words to keep me sane. I can never cure this chronic fatigue, For my mind drifts in and out with a nod, and drop of the head, Knowing one day this may be the last. Will I see an angel before I die, someone to listen and never Preach, with words of promise to lift the soul. I wonder how it will end, will anyone know of my name, Know my face on seeing, or am I another to fade away.
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10/27/2023 7:05:45 AM tom pickering Posts: 6	This is great! If you want critique perhaps try posting it in one of the two specialist critique areas of the forums? People are likely to be more forthcoming ing there. For starters try passing this through the "syllable counter" tool on the site. Do you have a metre in mind as you read the words put loud? This will guide your sentence structure for you.
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