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For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
2/19/2022 2:36:06 PM
Kris Harrell
Posts: 1
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Utter Silence.
You stare at the page wondering where it all went wrong;
Was it you?
No, that can’t be right…
But then if it wasn't you then you wouldn't be here at this moment.
You wouldn't be here in the dead of night.
here with just your thoughts-
Just you-
You are what's wrong-
No.
The Utter Silence seems to agree.
Who let it have a say in this anyways?
… Was it you?
Because you’re afraid of The Utter Silence,
It entraps you-
makes you start to think about the things you did and can never recover from
It makes you question-
makes you paranoid-
makes you think there's always someone waiting in the corner.
And you can’t do anything about it.
The Utter Silence seems to agree.
Who even started listening to it in the first place?
Oh… It was you.
Because you’re afraid of The Utter Silence,
you put in headphones to drown it out.
You listen to music so loud that your brain can feel the bass…
but its never loud enough.
“Louder, Louder until I can't hear it anymore” The scared part of you screams
The Utter Silence seems to agree
edited by KhaosIncarnate on 2/19/2022
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2/19/2022 7:23:26 PM
Bob Atkinson
Posts: 294
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Don't have a problem with your poem, my gripe's with those who teach freshman comp and creative writing. They just don't get it:
Utter Silence.
You stare at THEpage wondering where IT all wentwrong;
Was IT you?
No,that can’t BE right…
Butthen if IT WASN’Tyou then you wouldn't BE here at thismoment.
You wouldn't BE here in THEdead of night.
here with just your thoughts-
Just you-
You ARE what’Swrong-
No.
THEUtter Silence seems to agree.
Who let IThave a say in this anyways?
… Was ITyou?
Because you’REafraid of THE Utter Silence,
ITentraps you-
makes you start to think about THEthings you did and can never recover from
ITmakes you question-
makes you paranoid-
makes you thinkthere’Salways someone waiting in THEcorner.
And you can’t do anything about IT.
TheUtter Silence seems to agree.
Who even startedlistening to IT in THEfirst place?
Oh… IT WASyou.
Because you’REafraid of THE Utter Silence,
youput in headphones to drown IT out.
Youlisten to music so loud that your brain can feel THEbass…
but ITS never loud enough.
“Louder, Louder until I can't hear ITanymore” THE scared part of youscreams
THE Utter Silenceseems to agree
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