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Forum Home » Be Gentle » What do you think?

Post here if you're new to receiving a critique and you want "gentle" feedback on your poem. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
12/30/2011 11:25:15 AM

Grace Williams
Posts: 1
What do you think about this poem? I would love for someone to critique it.

We two aged friends were caught today,
By shared glance. Words I could not say
entranced. Not you, new friends looked on,
As old friends spoke. The grey false dawn
Broke thoughts while round us sunset played

Once, enemies trapped in the fray,
Alike, but souls between us lay
We two aged friends.

Freed, parted, only you could pray
Cold comfort: if we’d met halfway
Then emptiness would be foregone,
Swan fletched arrows not be withdrawn,
You loved not, yet this eve you stayed.
We two aged friends.
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