Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
1/18/2021 9:59:55 PM
mike porter Posts: 10
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In the darkroom, she sat near the window. Her lips pressed against the pane. kissing glass and dreaming of her past broken relationships With interrupted thoughts, Her eyes begin to cry streaks of tears. with her lips pressed against the glass shifting from pane to pane across the French window
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1/19/2021 9:51:47 AM
LeRoy Baker Posts: 2
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In the darkroom, she sat near the window. Her lips pressed against the pane. kissing glass and dreaming of her past broken relationships With interrupted thoughts, Her eyes begin to cry streaks of tears. with her lips pressed against the glass shifting from pane to pane across the French window
All of the past is broken
The French tragedy is the escape of fatality, not fatalism
The imagery is pristine. The poem cannot escape the one scene that you portrait. Perhaps if you engaged in the above philosophy.
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2/6/2021 6:49:58 AM
mike porter Posts: 10
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ThunderCartouche wrote:
In the darkroom, she sat near the window. Her lips pressed against the pane. kissing glass and dreaming of her past broken relationships With interrupted thoughts, Her eyes begin to cry streaks of tears. with her lips pressed against the glass shifting from pane to pane across the French window
All of the past is broken
The French tragedy is the escape of fatality, not fatalism
The imagery is pristine. The poem cannot escape the one scene that you portrait. Perhaps if you engaged in the above philosophy. I have reworked this poem and will submit it again … thank you I need all the help I can get lol. edited by jargenlink on 2/6/2021 it will be called French window. edited by jargenlink on 2/6/2021
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