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Forum Home » High Critique » Rat race please critique

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
1/13/2020 8:09:42 AM

Eliza Cannon
Posts: 2
Rat Race

You follow the rat races, Climbing ladders that never end, Surrounded by faces, But not one you could call friend, You stare hungrily at your reflection, Picking apart your every inch, Believing beauty leads to connection, But would it save you in a pinch? You spend like there's no tomorrow, Yet for the poor you've naught to spare, But if it became your turn to borrow, Would it shock you when none will care, You trust blindly in your societies, That if you do it all you will win, But you end up drowning in anxieties, From the emptiness you feel within.


Please critique to the highest degree. Thank you
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1/14/2020 5:41:41 PM

Warren Mbaht
Posts: 10
I think this is in the wrong place, I really have no critiscism, can only give you acolades. I write mainly balads so the syllable count is out to me. If it is a form that the count does not have to be consistent, all is very good.
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