Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
11/29/2019 2:42:54 AM
Ahyia Amankwah Posts: 2
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FLOWER OF LIFE That seed from the sperm Germinatesfrom the soil of the womb in its term Tilltime is up, the seed remains calm and fragile Thenurturing and maturing outburst it into stem and leaves so fragile In innocenceand cry, springs the young to this unknown mystery At thatpoint or even before, the choice is not in your hands in the disarray In thisdisarray, if the young plant is favored, the leaves groom greener With thestrong stem upheld by the sperm provider Andfeeding from a root source of the womb bearer Iffortunate, the youth now needs to make use of the serene condition to shootflower Here theplant needs to put up much of effort to utilize the opportunity Unfortunateplants are like plantain sucker planted by the wayside Whichdue to wear and tear never prospers and dies in wretchedness Or bareflowers that are soon blown away by the windy wayward winds For itsfruits, forget it! Fortunateare the plants that shut out flowers Sobeautiful and colourful with the wish of lasting forever Thatquestionable matter of long struggling to understand eternity Oheternity our wishful partner but enemy with that shroud of darkness over you Thebeauty of flower soon fades and browns if not blown away Theflower with no beauty, sweet scent and exposer No beewill fed it with pollens; Thepollens that when received begins the success journey Fadingand browning till it generates fruits Likecaterpillar processing into a butterfly Theflower has to shrink into a dark pupa Then theflower flourishes into its fruit Thefruit is what beholds the plant Thebeauty of the flower is long gone As thefruit surfaces If thefruit is sour or bitter With nobenefit of even quenching a thirst Thebeauty and the resilience of the flower cannot be remembered Theflower that bore good fruit will forever be remembered And hereeternity becomes a partner indeed For theflower is captured in the archives, Nomatter how ugly the flower looked. Flowerof life is the youthful stage Life’syouthful beauty fades If eventhe plant is not tarnished Thefruit of the flower is what matters Thefruit makes the flower become complete In itsbeauty.
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12/20/2019 11:35:06 AM
Samihah Sakkaf Posts: 3
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Hi please review this poem of mine
The kindling of love Buried somewhere beneath the abyss of locked horns And bones to pick on, Is a kindling of love, which I wow to search for relentlessly. Never shall I give up, resolute I am to grasp, for amidst that deep pit of shattered heartbreaks, it lies covertly tucked away from conceited eyes. And even if it takes to rip my eyes off, i shall and on my knees shall I clamber and grope for it as well, for with its light i would regain my sight; profound is the power of love.
And when i snatch it I would set it ablaze and melt our heartaches and differences away. With our love rekindled I would mould out a new phase in our lives where we are meant to be soulmates... and I promise to you that i shall never leave ur side, for amidst that sombre abyss there lies your kindling heart inside.....
-- Sa
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12/20/2019 11:39:33 AM
Samihah Sakkaf Posts: 3
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Hi it poem I can't quite grapple the meaning of it...it seems to complicated and long...or is it because I am bad at poetry... I wonder if it would sound better if u shorten it and stick to the point
-- Sa
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12/24/2019 12:55:58 AM
Pavithra CP Posts: 1
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A wish....A wish to walk free Free of the stigma bestowed upon me....
Free of the clutches holding me tight.....
Free of the epitome of a dirt too slight...
A wish....
A wish to unfurl the wings....
The wings of beauty
The wings of freedom
And up above to the manifesto of stardom!!
But alas! it's a trait
Too harsh!!
A poison lost amidst my blood....
A poison existing in the hearts of many.....
Many a girl like me....
And alas! The wish remains a wish
The wish to roam around free...
The wish to unfurl our wings....
For many a girl like me!! edited by Pavithra CP on 12/24/2019
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12/27/2019 11:23:37 PM
Natasha Linnette Joubert Posts: 1
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What can I say, life changes. Dreams do get bigger, streets come to an end and every day seems shorter.
Growing up is really scary if you look outside your window and see how life begins and ends. How colours bloom and how they fade.
Have you ever really felt that moment when you think that the child playing on the swing was you...thinking, if I'm older I will, I want to, I can't wait.
I think what scares me the most is that I can't pause the moments in life I love the most, I can't capture them in a snow globe just to keep them save.
All I can do Is live in the moment and see it be lived through different eyes, I think that's the beauty of life.
It changes.
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