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Forum Home » Be Gentle » My first piece of work- Please Review

Post here if you're new to receiving a critique and you want "gentle" feedback on your poem. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
11/2/2019 1:41:28 PM

KERRY ST CHARLES
Posts: 4
Hello! This is my very first piece and I don't even know if I am posting this correctly. I am brand-new to Poetry Soup. I loved to write in high school but have not written since. I am currently on a self journey rediscovering who I am as a person and not just a mother. And for the first time in 16 years I was feeling compelled to write down my thoughts when I was inspired. I know this is very raw and I am worried a bit immature, but so is the subject matter. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW, I would love feedback
You bestcheck your arrogance
there is adifference between narcissism and confidence
If you don’tknow the distinction my dear, it’s not your competence
It’s thisdamn social media filled nation-
Shoving itinto your face, to the point of suffocation

Findvalidation and victory in your accomplishments
True beautyis found in things like your heart or intelligence.

Becausedefining who you are in your appearance alone in itself
Will onlyleave you thirsting for more - and destroy your mental health.
Drinkingfrom the social media cup is like drinking water from the sea
No matterhow many “likes” you get; you will always be left thirsty.

Whenkindness, knowledge and your sanity-
Are moreimportant than your vanity
That’s beingtrue to and loving yourself
Can’t nobodyput that love on a shelf

It’s okay tospend time on your make-up and hair
But if youdon’t have the time- don’t worry, don’t care
So go ahead,let your style be on fleek –
and if youenjoy it, work on your physic.

To all thegirls and women everywhere
We arestronger together so don’t compare.
Becauseanother’s beauty is not the absence of your own
You areworth so much more than a perfect picture on your phone.

Loveyourself more than your selfie -Know your worth and times it by three
That’s theamount of respect you should come to expect from anybody.
And yesdear, yourself included.
Please don’tlet your self-image become convoluted.

Be strong,brave, clever and kind.
Because thethings the matter come from your heart and mind.
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11/2/2019 1:52:51 PM

KERRY ST CHARLES
Posts: 4
I do not know why spaces were removed when I posted this. It is frustrating and ruins it. Does anybody know how to edit a post?
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1/1/2020 2:15:36 AM

Jack Webster
Posts: 255
It’s true that poems needn’t rhyme,
nor even have a meter;
many chose to write free lines
without a thought for either,
yet still there is a certain sense
that something has gone deeper than ordinary speech.

The question, then, is left to us:
for what will poets reach?
Will simple affirmations do?
Will truths hold true
without some artful features?
Yes, gold still has its hue
without the jeweler’s file;
does it really gain that much
from the jeweler’s fire?
A nugget on the ground excites!
Unpolished —
Not round —
yet consecrates the spot
on which it just was found.

What good is spinning gold
into the riddles of rings?
edited by superlativedeleted on 1/1/2020
edited by superlativedeleted on 1/1/2020
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