Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
10/19/2019 5:33:05 PM
AS Para Posts: 3
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I am applauded for my supposed talents and works. Can’t they see the talents and works arenothing more than self-loathing’s reign over me.
Her quiet whispers are boundless as she drenches my ear with invectives and affirms my triviality. Her voice has become a familiar melody and her song confronts anyone who challenges her position.
I attempt to war against her words, but her persuasion and eloquence are a force to be reckoned with.
She baits me with the notion that my talents and works will release me from her grasp. I fervently seek and find accomplishment and do good deed in hopes of finding freedom from her reign, but the high quickly departs just as autumn leaves are seized by the wind.
I suddenly realize my victory will never be in my talent or works. My victory will be in silencing her voice.
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10/20/2019 10:28:32 PM
Jack Webster Posts: 255
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Can you imagine a star turned inside out, light, fire, raging plasma turned inward, the solar system cold, slowly sucking in world after world, stars blotted out by the hole, the hidden fire crushing inward more and more sending out x rays of its boneless body until it completely burns away?
Would you have believed a soul is not a star? Neither would I, if it weren’t for the rays of light that still escape the darkness.
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10/20/2019 10:34:58 PM
Jack Webster Posts: 255
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I think your write is fine.
If you don’t already, you might enjoy Sylvia Plath, Emily Dickinson, or Sharon Olds. Mary Oliver has many wonderful books; if I could only chose one book of poetry for the rest of my life, it would be Mary Oliver’s book ‘Dog Songs’
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10/30/2019 11:51:32 AM
Ben Potts Posts: 1
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As a proffesional self loather I can't really critique this. It's a topic that speaks to the individual, so was suprised to relate. Especially too the ending. I like the words you've used, one of them I had too google the definition and I don't do that often. I enjoyed reading this and learning from it. If this was mine I'd probably enter it into a free verse poetry contest. Great work this.
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11/15/2019 2:48:34 PM
BONNIE Hollywood-Cutts Posts: 6
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Sometimes our words aren't what some want to read. those are the people that need to move on to another page. The way I see it is my poetry is for me and though I try different things and humor but my poetry is mostly my tears. I cant cry I haven't since 1997 so my poetry has become my comfort. No one else has to like it even though I'm sharing them and sometimes ask for someone to critique them I don't expect praises or public apporval for them.
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