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Forum Home » High Critique » Critique please - Fire Within (Be ruthless)

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
10/1/2019 4:18:34 PM

Laine Lubar
Posts: 4
Fire like anger,
wrap heat around the moist
parts of me,
pink membranes
exposed to cold.

Fire like anger, burn
away the feeling of
knobby fingers in tiny spaces,
twisting gossamer fabric
tearing silky skin.

Fire like anger,
cauterize my childhood,
fill gaps in memory with
bloated fabricated
pictures of sweet
childhood, darkly edged,
the easy lie the willful
believe.

Fire like anger, shut
my eyes, let me
flinch from your
light, your heat,
away from the passion
of languid bodies
undulating under the summer sun,
away from warm
fingers slipped
into mine tingling
pads rubbing
in secret.

Fire like anger,
char my useless
bones, the transparent
muscles under
bulbous weight.

Fire like anger
explode, incinerate
me, imprint me on
the sidewalk, the shadow
of me never illuminated
edited by LaineAmy on 10/15/2019
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