Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
7/4/2019 7:10:51 AM
Niyna Desangre
Posts: 5
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The Most Beautiful Sonnet
For every day the dawning sun does rise.
Births jubilation there before Thine eyes.
Brightly colored rays nobly to shed light.
Accents wondrous flawlessness in plain sight.
Sparked myriads of seeds on which life's drawn.
Brash rivers bear oath heirs ‘tis tryst of dawn.
Sways and swirls a choreographic dance.
Ambient twirls perpetually by chance.
Flail on shores hence spawns of man and beast form.
Yea verily 'tis now yields earths new norm.
Winding winds elope Ye fair leaves of trees.
Rolling thunder cede fealty unto thee.
Esteemed Vox barrage of resounding ardor.
Grasp our lore of adoring loves of yore.
edited by Niynache on 7/4/2019
edited by Niynache on 7/4/2019
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8/4/2019 10:54:07 AM
Bob Atkinson
Posts: 294
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about the sonnet.....
to obsess about form
leaves the creation of something useful
in the dust
obsession should be for purpose
to leave something of value
insight into our mindset
for those not yet born
to force strict form requirements
becomes counterproductive
to creativity and honesty
Wordsworth believed poetry
should be in conversational language
I believe poetry is the observation
of an emotional reaction
to events or feelings
not those events themselves
which I would classify as
prose
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8/11/2019 11:56:11 AM
Carmael William
Posts: 2
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The poem is written very well...however the tittle seems to be putting it off...
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8/20/2019 5:34:09 PM
Hilo Poet
Posts: 1
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Applied value to your sonnet
both in part of your content
and the other, being of your talent
furthermore, I still consider myself
a newbie and noted soupers
use contest title as their own
**Forgive me**
edited by akalapanala on 8/20/2019
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8/28/2019 3:29:27 AM
Edmund Strempfl
Posts: 10
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Nice wording but found I couldn't satisfy myself what it's all about
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9/1/2019 9:56:50 AM
J.D. Cromwell
Posts: 16
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Naming something “The most (insert any adjective here)”, does not make it so and greatly takes away from the body of work.
The poem reads well and I enjoyed the word play, however, I feel the message was lost towards the end.
I hope this helps
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9/5/2019 1:18:46 AM
Jack Webster
Posts: 255
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If one was promised a diamond, how disappointing it would be if the only characteristics the stone shared with a true diamond were that it sparkled and had a similar shape. Rhinestones do as well as that.
This sonnet wants for true iambic lines.
Syllabic verse? A second-best design.
Although a fair beginning, true, there’s more
to sonnets. Fourteen lines and rhyme may bore,
without a proper sound. The volta gives
a needed turn, a spark of thought that lives,
reveals a new perspective. Slow to change
the soul requires many views, a range
of possibilities for open eyes.
So, make a journey. Readers love surprise.
At first a rose is love, and then it dies;
a wand of thorns perfumes as petals dry.
Your sonnet’s very pretty, that’s for sure,
and, some will claim, a quite effective lure.
edited by superlativedeleted on 9/5/2019
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