Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
6/4/2019 9:45:12 PM
Carter Kiser Posts: 2
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I am new to poetry and this is my second poem I have ever created. I went for a spoken word/story telling kind of poem. Please critique this hard as I want to get better and need to know my flaws. Thank you in advance!
Able
His eyes followed the rolling ball They glossed over the runners And bounced with the ones jumping rope A gaze full of envy A dissonance of jealousy and disconnection ruled his personal orchestra His name was Steven Steven Walker And all his life people were a little bit taller They looked down on him Physically and socially People felt he had nothing to add because he was mute Steven's cerebral palsy took not just his voice But his movement too What it could not touch was his mind Holding a gift that his Walls of Jericho confined Steven had intelligence that was truly sublime He grasped difficult concepts with ease And was miles ahead of the other kids All while being stationary in his seat Steven had a caretaker named John Who stood by his side every day And helped Steven realize that his limitations were not a hindrance But a symbol of God's willingness To stick to the least of those Including the one's who are paralyzed above and below their torso Steven realized everyone is a work of art And he liked being different Because how boring would a gallery be if all the pieces were the same Steven kept working on his degree And on graduation day Everyone was able to see Not a boy who was lame But a man who overcame The instruments that caused such dissonance And created a symphony It is said in Heaven you get a new name at the gate Yet Steven's arrived at an earlier date He was no longer plagued by the mocking name of "Walker" But revered with new labels "Doer" "Thinker" "Believer" All his life he was told he can't, couldn't, and wouldn't And that day he showed he could, would, and did He never gave up and proved that the only push he truly needed Was the one from his handlebars Steven may not have been a walker or a runner or a jumper But the biggest thing Steven wasn't Was a quitter edited by Qandey on 6/4/2019 edited by Qandey on 6/4/2019
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