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6/3/2019 10:03:47 AM Kiran Nivedh Sarguneswaran Posts: 10	you need to reframe
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8/30/2019 4:28:40 AM Mathew Jackson Posts: 2	~Ignorance that's cloaked as bliss while Truth unveiled brings happiness Each one got better. if you write it out a few more times you could very well strike gold. that said... you coouuulddd need a reframe. truth unveiled brings something... not sure if its happiness
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9/5/2019 4:04:36 PM Jack Webster Posts: 255	Meh. It’s just regurgitating an old maxim. It would be more interesting if it had something new to offer, an original perspective, something that shows true experience with human nature. For instance it would become quite an interesting refrain placed between stanzas that depict bloody crusades, the forced conversion of South Americans, the cultural genocide of Gaul-ish pagans in Ireland, indigenous North American children being taken from their families and put into schools run by nuns where they’re punished for speaking their native language and are sexually abused. As a stand alone couplet, it’s a little too squeaky clean. It needs to be put in context to actually have a significant meaning.
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