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Post here if you're new to receiving a critique and you want "gentle" feedback on your poem. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
5/7/2019 2:11:06 PM

Jean OBrien
Posts: 1
You don’t see me
You don’t believe it exists
That thing that is killing my brain
Little by little
Everyday, a little more
Until it’s all gone
Until I’m gone
And then what
Regrets of wasted time and lonely nights
Of romantic moons and sunrises
We never saw, we never lived
Because we were too busy living out the monotony of life
As if we’d live forever
As if we’d never be touched
By death

You don’t see me
Because you don’t want to
Stop and ask how I’ve been
That would make it too real
You wouldn’t know what to say
So you’d walk away
You’re too uncomfortable
That it exists
So we’ll just pretend it doesn’t
At least for a little while

You don’t see me
You need to help me
Where will I go?
What will I do?
It started slipping away long ago
And now I have nothing
And you continue to let me have nothing
No questions, no talk, nothing
Only accusations of all the wrong I do
Because you don't want to see me


Why must I make you feel comfortable with my dying?
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6/3/2019 10:09:28 AM

Kiran Nivedh Sarguneswaran
Posts: 10
the construction of the poem is good but it looks like more of a lyrics rather than a poem
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