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Forum Home » High Critique » Critique would be appreciated

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
4/17/2019 3:39:37 PM

T.Peseckas
Posts: 1
It's one of my first poems I'm not good at writing also. I just want to try as many things as possible and see how it'll go.




The silence..

It‘s dark..Silent
I close my eyes..Silence
I hear him again

I‘m feeling his ominous
Yet such warm pressence
He speaks to me..
And now he‘s silent..
I can‘t hear anything...Silence.

I open my eyes..Red
Red everywhere..
I close my eyes..Silence..

I can hear him with his faint voice
He speaks to me, but I can‘t hear him
Luminous light starts shining..

Silence..Silence again.
I don‘t feel him anymore.
I open my eyes..Silence..
edited by T.Peseckas on 4/17/2019
edited by T.Peseckas on 4/17/2019
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