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1/21/2019 9:54:12 PM Sue San Posts: 1	They don't frolic in a flurry of snow, or muck about in fantasies, daydreaming. Neither hand reaches for another, their two souls of desire, brimming. For they are not rivers, but mountains, tall, standing.
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1/31/2019 9:43:10 AM Lemayian Leksat Posts: 2	Makes sense, great!
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2/2/2019 3:42:27 PM levi johnson Posts: 10	Its a nice epigram but can use more adjectives to add some color. What type of snow, fantasies, daydreaming, rivers or mountains are they. Also, when you have only a single stanza, you want the final line to have some punch or to say something unexpected. Have a great day
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2/3/2019 8:36:18 PM Jack Webster Posts: 255	only use adjectives if you are using an image in an unexpected way. The white polar bear lumbered across the frozen glacier. (redundant - no need to say a polar bear is white, nor that the glacier is frozen. Cleaner to say: the polar bear lumbered across the glacier.) The careless polar bear lumbered across the glacier. (unexpected - we didn't know the polar bear was careless till the adjective told us. Now we want to know what happens.) The starving polar bear lumbered across the melting glacier. (unexpected - we didn't know the polar bear was starving or that the glacier was melting) The mountain is powerful on its own. No need to say 'tall, standing'. Choses images that don't need adjectives, that way you can save room for adjectives that add depth.
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