Poetry Forum

Forum Home » High Critique » Prose - Looking for Constructive Criticism Only!

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!

7/24/2018 9:01:05 AM Seance James Posts: 1	Short poem, looking for serious critique. At present, the work is untitled so some title ideas wouldn't hurt, either. Anyway, y'all go nuts: He asked, “Why does this always happen?” I did not answer. How do you tell him it is you. You choose women so beautiful and full of love, that they cannot help but offer you some. edited by seancejames on 7/24/2018
	• permalink • reply with quote
7/24/2018 5:33:33 PM J P Marmaro Posts: 9	I love it... it reminds me of ancient Greek lyric poetry, such as by Sappho, and also the epigrammatic poetry of Stephen Crane. Is the question an indication that what always happens is negative, or distressing, somehow? That the love offered by the beautiful ladies is incomplete or flawed, unsatisfying, even unwholesome? As to titles, not being sure how to interpret the poem, I'm reticent to venture a suggestion: perhaps leaving it "Untitled" might work best. Perhaps -- "Query"? "Lament"? "Be Careful What You Ask For"? "Advice, Ungiven"? None seem very good... Kudos, though, on a fine poem, intelligent and intriguing!
	• permalink • reply with quote
9/1/2018 2:40:41 PM Jean Bush Posts: 11	Such possibilities for this poem! I don't understand his question. If he's getting love from beautiful women, why is he complaining? I think you could add some to it to explain more. Very lyrical and a bit sad, do men always have to question love?
	• permalink • reply with quote