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For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!

Is this free verse

Yes:2
No:1
7/10/2018 6:05:33 AM

SCHYLAR ROSE
Posts: 2
If only I had thecourage…

Constantia Clinic, 16December,
A day forever to beremembered.
You last day on thisearth,
It was only twentymonths and a bit since your day of birth.
Now today six monthslater I am staring at the ceiling,
Seeking a way out, asthere is no healing
I can cry for a hundredyears,
You won’t be comingback, no matter my tears.
How do I hold onwithout letting go?
I am a coward, butthe world don’t know.
Why did you have toleave?
I want to follow youbut I am too weak!
It is just too hardto live my life again,
If only I had thecourage; I would put my story to an end


While typing thesewords, I was sitting, crying in my daughter’s room. I was inconsolable. Themotion sensor lights switched off, the room was in complete darkness. If onlylife was that easy; your light switch off if you don’t want to live life. Then Iwon’t need any courage…
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7/14/2018 3:12:53 AM

Stenila Simon
Posts: 3
First of all, my condolences on your loss. You've conveyed the raw emotions through your words! They're simple, no fluffy language. If I would have anything to suggest just be careful with the syntax, like a few instances where two words didn't have a space between them (thisearth, asthere, etc).
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9/1/2018 2:42:45 PM

Jean Bush
Posts: 11
Very sorry for your loss, I know you'll miss her forever. I agree with the previous poster. Catch your breath & re do it. It's unbearably sad yet lovely.
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