Poetry Forum

Forum Home » »

5/2/2018 3:20:52 PM

Jack Webster
Posts: 255

I think you have a good start, but I think you need to go to the hilt with it.

Face to face and skin to skin, a lover's name can be said a thousand ways. Sure it can mean "everything", and people that have already had that experience will understand the cue, but the poem itself doesn't doesn't really delve into what "everything" is. "Everything" seems to be a substitute for the true emotional content of the poem, something that, as of right, now may seem so vast and intricate it feels inexpressible; perhaps the poet is so overwhelmed with experiencing the feeling of "everything" it is difficult to get a birds-eye view of that actual landscape of "everything".

Perhaps the poet, if he feels so inclined, could practice saying the name aloud over and over to connect with the different ways the name can be said, and the emotional range that it can be used to express. Ultimately the name is simply a garland of sounds; how many different emotions can wear it; how do they wear it, and it is a balm, an emblem, a decoration? Is uttering it a supplication; is it a supplication of a thirst to be quenched, a supplication to be made whole, a supplication for an affirmation of eternal partnership? Is uttering it an act of claiming that brands the heart with a searing moan of satisfaction? Is uttering it expressing closure with a sense of feeling lost, now that one has been found, at last?

The human truth that can be expressed through the various utterances is as deep as an ocean, and just as beautifully colorful and no less full of teeth; you can tell any human story you wish simply by uttering such a name. Glossing over everything by simply saying "everything" misses everything.

• permalink • reply with quote