Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
8/21/2011 9:23:26 PM
jennifer hedrick Posts: 1
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Felt as if I were a stranger amongst family.<center> <center>A mere shadow puppet on the wall.<center> <center>The whispers that enraged me deeply.<center> <center>From all the distasteful, shameful,<center> <center>ungrateful words that had been spoken<center>. <center>Utter silence drifting away,<center> <center>the darkness starts to reign. <center><center>Sincerity's all so superficial beauty, <center>shines so brightly.<center> <center>Blinding us from the true light burning within<center>. <center>Rebelliously our selfish motives,<center> <center>and lustful attitudes,<center> <center>Ruthlessly are felt thru out the land.<center> <center>Emotionless thoughts,a lack of wisdom<center>, <center>Aimlessly wandering about;<center> <center>Consuming everything in it's path.<center> <center>Leaving "heart aches" as distraactions,<center> <center>Felt dining from the war within,<center> <center>the chains of bondage.<center> <center>Keeping us slaves of death.<center> <center>Our "seeds of faith" never failing to.<center> <center>Surrendering to our human nature.<center> <center>Repenting with our bankrupted souls<center>. <center>His grace,given with forgiveness<center> <center>and love.<center
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9/5/2011 5:18:16 PM
Keith Baker Posts: 18
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I don't have any meaningful critique but you misspelled distraations (sic) which was a huge distraction and <center> only needs to be written once before the first word of the poem and </center> once after the last word of the poem, not every line.
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