Poetry Forum

Forum Home » Fun and humor » To the Fans of THE OFFICE Only

Don't Post Poetry Here!!! Everything to make us smile - anecdotes, stories, fun things to do, etc. But NOT Poetry.

3/7/2018 12:19:22 PM

Gayle Rodd
Posts: 26

I just love the show “the Office”. I think this show took off because so many can relate to that person in their own lives. Maybe we’ve all come across these personality types before- perhaps we can even see ourselves in them. (If you’ve never seen the show, you probably won’t be able to relate to this mini- series of blogs.)

*Jim:
Jim is extremely likable. He makes friends wherever he goes. This is the type person who has 800 friends on fb, and not because they just befriend random people..they actually know them all. Jim attracts people like magnets- especially women. I call these people the ‘Jack Blacks’ because they have that same charisma and charm. Still, it’s very hard to get a moment with them because they are so popular. When ya finally do get some time, they talk to you as if you were the only one on earth; good eye contact, and just a genuine, warm, caring person. I just adore the Jims of the world! Try and imagine being in a sexual relationship with Jim. He would probably be on the phone or have an audience waiting for him to get done! It would take a strong woman to be able to handle his popularity. I guess ‘rock star status would be accurate when describing this sort of person.

*Angela
There are a few Angelas in my office…both men and women. These are the ones that, if you didn’t initiate a conversation or say ‘hello’ to them, they would never talk to ya. They like to be alone,don’t socialize, don’t like to converse in the break room with others, keep their doors closed at all times, eat lunch by themselves and never go for happy hour after work. If you try and befriend them you’re wasting your time. I have often said hello to these people in the hall or tried to make small talk at the water cooler. They’re not havin’ it! They would just assume stick a book in their face to shield themselves from ya. They always keep you guessing as to if they even like you. You find yourself saying “ Is it just ME or do they genuinely dislike everyone?”

*Kelly
I think every office has a Kelly. This is the person that talks your ear off! (You don’t dare ask her how she’s doing, she just might tell ya.) She’s open with her life; telling you every detail of her sexual encounter with the guy she met in the bar last night. Another thing about Kelly... she’s not the most tactful. She is the one that will always ask you the most intimate questions via your fb page.“Was that you throwing up in the bathroom at work today? Are you okay?” She always seems to find you too-Wherever you may be hiding! Still, I think I would much rather have the Kellys in my life than the Angelas. They are usually very genuine and sweet. Just don’t ask them to speak at the board meeting.

*Todd Packer
Ugh! If the world never held onto these people, I don’t think it would be so bad. These are the annoying, loud, obnoxious, irritating attention whores that were put in my life to test my love for human beings! Luckily I don’t know too many of these people. I just tend to shy away from them and I can pick ‘em out of a crowd. (The two that I do know don’t seem to like me.) Perhaps they can sense that disdain I feel for a person that thrives on embarrassing or humiliating somebody with words. These were most likely the bullies in school. They have few friends because they sabotage any potential relationships they can have by opening their mouths!!

*Phyllis
The Peacemaker. I love these people. They are usually easy to talk to, willing to participate and take on jobs no one wants. They’re family oriented and have scads of pictures of the grandchildren tacked up in their cubicles along with plants and posters’ that say ‘Have a Nice Day.” Being the willing organizers that they are, they usually bring the greatest dishes to the potluck - then they’ll even stay and clean everything up afterwards. Unfortunately, these poor people usually get taken advantage of and end up turning into Angelas.

*Michael
Totally clueless, very friendly and always in life for a good time. They are petty, immature and can be easily distracted with anything shiny! If these people are in management, you gotta wonder who they slept with to get the job because they have no idea what they’re doing.

*Creed
These are the stoner’s of the working world. They come to work only because they have to, show up late, leave early and call in sick every Monday. They do as little work as possible and try and shortcut their entire day. These people are rarely on the same page as everyone else. Sometimes scandalous, these are the ones that will take home office supplies or steal toilet paper from the washroom for their own personal use. (They usually have the best music to listen to though).

*Pam
Here’s a person that you would like to get to know, but no matter how nice you are to them you’re never really a part of their circle. They have their specific friends and that’s it. Again if you don’t initiate conversation, they probably won’t take it upon themselves to talk first. If you do say hi, they are friendly enough. They never let you into their lives even though it seems they have exciting ones. They’re well liked amongst the Jims of the office, and surprisingly, the Todd Packers too. These are the ones that are difficult to find flaws in. They’re pretty or handsome, have nice bodies and seem to be the most popular. You just can’t seem to find what it is that makes them ‘tick’

*Stanley
Boy if grouchy had a poster child, this would be the Stanleys . They don’t want to be bothered with anything. They’re here to work and that is it. These folks will NEVER volunteer to do anything unless they’re being paid for it. They are no nonsense people that refuse to share anything including their time, work area or parking space. They want the coffee a certain way, always take the crossword puzzle from the paper and are generally very inconsiderate. As far as I’m concerned, these people can go have lunch with Angela.

*Oscar
Oscar is the all around “get along with everybody” sorta guy. He’s non confrontational, can be a good conversationalist and is the one that you can count on for help if you jam the copier. He’s usually the first one to show up at happy hour. He takes things in stride and doesn’t really rock the "workforce boat". He sometimes has a secret life so don’t be surprised if you find him getting fired for all that porn on his computer!

*Dwight
This is the ultimate " go by the book" Barney Fife employee. He's always on time, has the cleanest desk and is the most ergonomically correct person in the office. He will not hesitate to inform the supervisor if you have a picture of a waterfall on your desktop instead of the company logo. He is the company watchdog and usually a favorite among the bigwigs because of his ‘eagle eye’ ability to sniff out the slackers. ( For this reason he rarely gets invited to join the others for drinks after work) .

*Kevin
Kevins are just kind of there. They don’t really contribute in any way but don’t cause trouble either. You often wonder what it is in life that they find interesting. Usually these people don’t have hobbies, a love life or anything they consider to be worth living for. They can tell you however, everything that was on television the night before.

*Meredith
Ahh yes, the office ‘skank! She’s done everyone once and makes it well known that she will do whatever it takes to get a promotion. This is a person (I’m sayin’ a girl for the sake of my story) that will hit on your man when he comes to take you for lunch. She’s always in the break room when the vending machine man comes, always near the copier when the repair tech is there and is constantly putting on makeup at her desk. If she’s not on her phone, she’s surfing the web. At happy hour she drinks the most, talks the loudest and stays the longest. Her cubicle is adorned with coupons from “Hooter’s, photos of herself in her underwear and beads from the Jerry Springer show.

...so ? which one are YOU?

• permalink • reply with quote