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2/23/2018 11:23:15 AM ADEOLA ADEMOLA Posts: 1	After months of standing, walking and sitting by your side, I summoned up enough courage to hold your hand for a few seconds. Your hands were small, like that of a child, And mine like giants wrapped yours like a present I wanted to give myself as a consolation of the love I had for you. With that one touch, I made sharp communications of the intentions my tongue had found dull. The hands were small, the palm was warm and the nails were short and blue. That day, my hands were able to tell yours how much I loved you. And I saw the way your eyes bulged, your cheeks blushed and lips curved to review that consenting smile. Your hands slid out of mine as if to tell me “this was not the time”. I would hold on to that consenting curve of your lips and wait. ’cause I know I would hold that hand again and again, Till your whole body pushes us to pick a date. A day when I slide a ring, On that finger, On that hand, And then you would have mine. edited by DEMOLA on 2/23/2018
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2/24/2018 1:45:05 PM Stephen Wilson-Floyd Posts: 49	I very much liked the tentative sweetness of this. That said, I felt some words worked against that feeling. For example, "communications of the intentions" I thought could have been said much more simply and simple is what I like best about this. I thought "bulged" might not have been the right word. Maybe "enlarged" or "grew large". "Bulged" seemed a little anatomical to me. But maybe that was your intent. I thought the ending was perhaps "putting too fine a point on it". This might be a very sweet marriage proposal to your significant other. For others, I thought the feeling was the main part that didn't need that part. Just my thoughts. Best wishes!
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3/27/2018 12:25:05 PM Jack Ton Posts: 5	I liked how you likened her hands to a child's. It is a pretty unimaginative (and frankly a little off-putting that your romantic love puts you in mind of a child) but it really drives home the adorable chasteness that runs throughout this poem.
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4/9/2018 10:17:02 PM Lisa Costigan Posts: 12	gOOD POEM
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