Poetry Forum

Forum Home » Poem Editing and Help » comments on a poem I wrote that confuse me

Do you need help editing a poem? Maybe English isn't your first language. Post poems or request help with a poem or english here.

2/12/2018 2:42:07 AM Tamara Reyna Posts: 2	I wrote the following poem and this one comment I received is bothering me because...because...well because I'm not confident with my skills or lack thereof. It has me wondering if I'm a total dumb butt that should just stop trying to write. I will quote what the comment was after the poem. Modern Jester Jester of yesteryear were easy to spy with your two eyes. Now they perform in disguise. Presidents, Kings, and, Noblemen, How they love to bring them in. Like Obama and Bin Laden. CNN has many of them. Let us not forget that man named Kim.What's that you say?They are not funny, they don'tdeserve to make Jester money. Bring your ear and listen here. They are not for you and they are not for me. They only pleasure the powers-that-be.They are all part of the Illuminati. the comment: The argument here is badly made. Jester is the third person singular bot then your used your eyes to refer to that person when you should have used her or his eyes. I hope you see what I see. Another thing, the poem jumps from one subject to another without having a concrete center. This poem is in need of serious fixing. Thanks and take care If I did as this comment suggest then the Jester would be looking at himself and that would have changed the point of these type of people being easy for world at large to identify as opposed to a so called modern Jester. Is that not obvious?I also dont get how it is jumping around. The jester of past was easy to identify because they wore silly clothes but it quickly becomes obvious the modern jester is not exactly the same type of jester the most people think of when they think of a jester. The modern jester is a spokes person that speaks for evil and corruption thinking they fool the world while the powers that be or insinuated evil ones love them and find it all a joke that is not meant for us to be aware of. What about this poem is jumping around? I've reread it countless times and I just don't understand this critique. I welcome helpful critique that clearly points out my failings but, I just fail to understand what this person is telling me. I only finished the seventh grade and missed alot of the education most people get.I'm in my fifties now. What I write here is simply instincual and self-taught. I realize that my english mechanics are poor. I have a bad habit of always doubting myself and never feeling good enough so this darn person has gotten to me with his comment. If somehow this person is correct then perhaps another can explain it more clearly to me. If he is not then I would like to know that as well. One more thing I don't even know what singular bot that he mentioned as well. This poem may have mistakes or may not I simply am unsure but, I suspect not the problems this commenter makes. Thanks for any thoughts.
	• permalink • reply with quote
2/23/2018 11:53:32 AM B. Joseph Fitzsimons Posts: 5	Was this a comment on your own on your page or a comment from a poem you posted to a forum? edited by bjsimons on 2/23/2018
	• permalink • reply with quote
1/8/2022 2:15:52 PM Tom Hanks Posts: 14	Unfortunately it's not a poem!
	• permalink • reply with quote
1/11/2022 12:37:39 PM Bob Atkinson Posts: 294	Agree with Tom, not a poem: Poetry "the Emotional Content of Literature" the verb "to be" (is are were) has no place in poetry. Poetry's an expression of one's emotional reaction to anything. Describing the world's the realm of prose. What your poem says is your business, just don't call prose poetry, OR rework it to be poetry. (Like your reaction to a dictator or anything else). Best way to become a poet is to not judge yourself, don't revise, just write. Judgement eliminates your prolific self. Tell yourself you'll write 100 poems, not caring about quality, and by 101 you'll have a handle on the issues. I did this, (currently over 1500 published online APA style for free).
	• permalink • reply with quote