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Forum Home » High Critique » Assistance on"Caught in a Deluge" please?

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
7/22/2011 9:59:48 AM

Tim B
Posts: 5
Hello all,




I am curious as to what form to list this under, any help would be appreciated? I am guessing that it would be a rhyme or a free verse? Any other criticism of this poem would also be welcomed, thanks in advance.



















The pouring rain ricocheting in your ear




Now dearest there is but naught to fear




Fluctuating rhythmatic ransom notes nigh




Just another drop of venom shall make us cry




The introspection of an unyielding inspection




Yielded nothing upon these reflections




The pouring rain ricochets in your fears



Tasting blood the wicked now can hear




Run







My darling as tempests swirl and sway




Our little one is gone this day




So now holy father to whom do we pray




Signs of light flicker in the darkest corner




We must never become the lonesome mourner




Retaining faith deep in solid steel reserves




Like vigilant warriors of light whom he preserves




Today they were found, and got what they deserve




Stand







Tall like the oaks he commands respect




Dear God no longer should we detect




The burning feelings of our own inadequacy




Driven over the years to such lunacy




Tears rolling down the faces of regret




We did everything without a fret




Bleeding hearts now atone with brows of sweat




Fall
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